Resistance to assistance?

Have you ever found it hard to ask for help? I have! Sometimes it would be over something simple like asking for directions or a small favor. Other times, asking others to help me when I wasn’t feeling well seemed uncomfortable and difficult.

I’d seen how prayer-based treatment brings healing to physical difficulties. Still, when I was old enough to pray on my own, calling a Christian Science practitioner or talking to a family member was something I shied away from. I just kept things to myself. This often made me feel very alone, even though I was surrounded by a supportive, loving family.

Then several years ago, during a very active time in college, I began to feel ill. Within a couple of days, I couldn’t eat anything, and I felt my energy slipping away. I took time to put God first each day by praying to know that He was in control, but I stubbornly refused to slow down my schedule or tell anyone that I was feeling bad. As I look back, this idea that I should plough through my activities and just “deal with it” wasn’t at all helpful to my well-being.

After about a week, I started to become fearful because the problem wasn’t letting up. I still wasn’t able to eat normally, and was feeling exhausted. At that point, I knew that I should ask for help through prayer, but I was still reluctant to talk to anyone about my situation.

As I was reading the Bible one morning, I came to a story in the book of John where Jesus rose from dinner and began to wash the disciples’ feet. When he got to Peter, however, Jesus met with resistance. Peter didn’t want Jesus to wash his feet, perhaps because he couldn’t stand the thought that Jesus would have to perform this “inferior” task.

This story immediately stood out to me—especially that in initially refusing to accept Jesus’ offer, Peter was resisting the higher cleansing that Jesus was symbolically promising. Peter thought he was being humble, but he failed to see how self-will was getting in the way of his embracing the goodness of the Christ. What Peter really needed, instead of pride, was a willingness to receive love and compassion. I realized that, just like Peter, I needed a willingness to accept help through prayer in difficult times.

Over the next few days, as I continued to pray, I looked at the writings of Mary Baker Eddy, and came across this sentence: “When we are willing to help and to be helped, divine aid is near” (The First Church of Christ, Scientist, and Miscellany, p. 166). I stopped short and thought for a moment. In that sentence, there was equal emphasis on the willingness to receive help, as on serving and helping others!

Of course I wanted divine aid. But for so long, I had neglected to be willing. I wanted healing, and I wanted God’s help; but I was caught up in self-will, and in a stubborn thought: I will not burden others with my problems. Like Peter, I’d been focusing on the process of asking for assistance rather than appreciating its humbling spiritual importance.

A couple of passages from Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures helped me further: “If students do not readily heal themselves, they should early call an experienced Christian Scientist to aid them. If they are unwilling to do this for themselves, they need only to know that error cannot produce this unnatural reluctance.” And, “There is divine authority for believing in the superiority of spiritual power over material resistance.”

When I read that last one, I saw that not only did I have Jesus’ example to guide me, but I also had divine authority to overcome all the resistance I’d been feeling. God had a plan for me, and when I turned away from fear, self-will, and pride, I could embrace it. And that might mean calling a Christian Science practitioner or sharing ideas with a family member.

Immediately, I began to demand that I feel and understand these spiritual facts, and soon the resistance slipped away. With a newfound sense of humility, it seemed so natural to ask for and receive help.

I called a practitioner right away, who said she would be happy to pray for me. She reminded me that I was an entirely spiritual idea, not a struggling mortal dealing with sickness, and that I was never outside the influence of God’s law of love. She assured me that I was already well and free, and had the ability to wake up to this spiritual fact. With that in mind, I headed confidently to the campus dining hall and was able to eat a normal meal for the first time in a week.

After that, my energy returned, and I never felt as though I had to recover or regain my strength. The entire condition disappeared. And the best part was that I had turned a corner, discovering that, with prayer, I could find the humility to ask others to assist me. In fact, it quickly became the most natural thing in the world, and I also found myself welcoming this help without the slightest hesitation.

This willingness to accept assistance from those who want to help—whether they’re practitioners, friends, or family—has opened the way for many more wonderful healings. It’s also nurtured my own healing practice and caused me to be of better service when people reach out to me.

Of course, I also have many opportunities to pray on my own, and I value those times of individual communion with God. But I’ve learned to be alert to the ways that fear and pride cause us to resist seeking assistance when we most need it.

Lark Rodman lives in St. Louis, Missouri, United States.

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