Love knows no breaks

God is Love. I learned this truth when I was a young girl, and lean on it still. But when you feel heartbroken, unloved, unworthy, where is that Love? Suddenly this simple phrase can often be very hard to comprehend.

Jesus said, “The kingdom of God is within you.” I take that to mean that God’s love for us all—His care, provision, protection, and inclusiveness—is complete and within us now. And if God’s love is within, it can’t be broken or taken away. There’s nothing I can possibly say or do to lose it. It is mine because I am God’s beloved child, and Her Love for me is eternal.

Knowing this, it was natural for me to turn to my Father-Mother God when a longtime relationship—one I’d thought would last forever—ended. I missed my boyfriend, the talks we had, and the way he made me feel as a person. And I couldn’t stop crying. Rationally, I knew it wasn’t right for us to be together, but that didn’t stop the hurt.

Praying with ideas from the Bible and Science and Health, by Mary Baker Eddy, I did find some comfort, but I just didn’t feel in touch with God’s love within me—although I knew it was there.

I have never been a fan of engagement rings, but shortly after the breakup I found myself enamored of them—to the point of feeling envious of those wearing them. But every time I felt that way, I would claim that God’s love surrounded me, and everyone. I held on to this thought for weeks (even though it didn’t change the fact that engagement rings were everywhere I looked!).

During this time, I was staying with my parents, and one morning I walked into the kitchen to find my mom cleaning some of her jewelry. She told me that she really wanted to give me an heirloom from my grandmother but only had one thing, my grandmother’s old wedding ring—would I want it?

Sometimes it’s almost humorous the way God’s love provides for us. Every time I wear my grandmother’s ring, it’s a sweet reminder of the eternal Love that surrounds and fills each of us. This was a step of progress for me. I was beginning to trust Love in a way I hadn’t before, but I still couldn’t shake the sadness.

A few weeks before the breakup, I’d made plans to take Christian Science class instruction. During this class, I continued to seek healing. When I shared my struggle with my teacher, she responded: If this relationship was God-established, it cannot ultimately be lost.

After completing the 12-day class, I was still struggling to understand her statement. The relationship seemed to be lost in every sense, and my attempts to reestablish a relationship with my ex-boyfriend were unsuccessful. I couldn’t seem to find complete peace and satisfaction. I tried starting a new relationship, but it ended quickly.

One of our assignments after class ended was to write a daily Christian Science prayer treatment for the world and ourselves. In my treatment, I reminded myself that through God, I expressed and experienced perfect companionship. I claimed that as God’s beloved child, I was loved and complete, and that nothing could change that. Step by step, I began to feel the truth of this prayer, and I gradually stopped thinking that my joy and satisfaction came from a person.

About eight months after we had broken up, my ex-boyfriend contacted me and said he’d like to catch up over the phone. I called him, and we had a wonderful conversation. He’d moved on with his life, starting a new career and a new relationship—and I felt completely free and happy.

Shortly before this time, I’d begun dating a guy I met at an engagement party for some mutual friends. As our relationship grows, I have noticed a lot of the same aspects I appreciated in my former relationship. We have since married. But more important, I continue to understand that my connection to Love was never lost—and never will be.

I am so grateful for this experience. I see now that the qualities I had treasured so deeply in my previous relationship never ended because they were based on a spiritual foundation of Love. Love sees no end, no breaks in its expression—just its own eternal likeness.

Dawn Arteaga lives in Washington DC, United States.

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